Part 2 of 2
By Pastor Dave
I purposed to practice the art of pie – praise, inspire, encourage. We live in a negative, critical world and we can destroy people by our constant criticizing. I call these people the dream crushers. Have you ever felt that whatever you do is not good enough or that you will never amount to much? Then you have grown up with or have a friend that is a dream crusher.
Finding God’s will is not to be looked at as something that is painful and frustrating but as a treasure hunt. It should be pursued with anticipation and hope. We need to be an encouragement to other people and encourage them on their journey. Our honest praise will put large deposits in the bank of trust in all of our relationships with our children, friends, co-workers, and fellow Christians. Ephesians 4:29 says Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. What a powerful verse to build each other up.
I purposed to extend more trust to my daughter as our relationship grew through the years. This was the part of my account at the bank of trust that gave me interest. When you put trust in your relationships with other people you will get the best returns. It is amazing that when we let go of the control and invest trust in others in a proper way, we gain more than we let go of. We make the cords of our relationship even stronger.
- Responsibility = privilege. If your children do the responsibility you ask, then you give them privileges accordingly along with your trust.
- Teach them things and then let them try. Maybe you learned to ride your bike with training wheels but you have to admit someday the training wheels need to come off.
- Don’t expect more than you inspect. You teach, you watch, you let go when ready.
Your watch is the “inspect” that you need to do so they get it right. There is a difference between helicoptering and inspecting. Inspecting should eventually give a stamp of approval, hovering is smothering. I was watching a news program that was trying to tell people the best tips on going to job interviews. The number one tip was don’t take your mother to your job interview. We all do it even in our grown up relationships.
My daughter went from my little girl to my co-worker, to my equal and in some areas my superior. In adult relationships we call it accountability. Accountability in any relationship is never meant to be used to control others but to help them blossom even if they do better than us. We all feel that if someone grows more than where we are that they may not need us anymore. This is where the trust comes in. Trust is seeing the other person grow which will make the bond of trust stronger.
Why all this on “The Bank of Trust?” Because all relationships are built on trust and someday you may need to write a check when you’re going to need someone to trust you in a relationship. If you haven’t put enough deposits in the bank you will over draft your account.
All these years in raising my daughter I made regular deposits in the bank of trust. From time to time my daughter would cash a check and find out that she could trust me. But one day I had to write a big check. My daughter dated a boy from college and as time went along my wife and I did not feel that he was the right boy for her to marry for a number of reasons. He wanted to marry her and came to our house to try to talk her into marriage. She cared for him a lot but knew how I felt and that I was against it. He tried very hard to get my daughter to go against our will but even though she shed many tears she would not go against me. I had put enough deposits in the bank through the years that my check of trust was good and she sent him away never to see or talk to him again. Trust is a powerful thing and my daughter trusted me and my wife even though it was hard at the time. A week or so later a young man named Joe asked my daughter out. He had no idea what had just happened with my daughter. My wife and I were very excited to see this relationship blossom. When Joe asked, I gave my blessing and now nearly 20 years and five kids later they have a wonderful marriage and family.
The bank of trust had paid off. All those years of deposits were worthwhile. Someday someone will need to trust you and if you have made enough deposits that person will be able to cash your check of trust and bank on you. Don’t overlook the power of the bank of trust. If therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches (Luke 16:11)?